Congratulations to the previously profiled Matt H. and Courtney who got engaged last weekend! Matt proposed while visiting Courtney in St. Louis.

(As Matt didn’t pitch marriage to Courtney until after we sent our invitations, his was addressed to “Matt and guest.” So, Matt, remember that you’re under no obligation to bring your betrothed.)

And just to reiterate some belated advice I gave Matt over the phone, his proposal should have come with an ultimatum: “This offer is contingent on our wedding being held within the next six hours.” They are looking at getting married in The Hyphen in June 2008. Enjoy 10 months of planning!

In the next few months we’re profiling all of our wedding guests. Check back to see what we write about you.

My first memory of Matt is from when he was a freshman at Wake Forest and stopped by my fraternity lounge whilst I was outside shooting hoops. Matt started draining long-range jumpers. And by “draining” I meant he went 1 for 7. And by “1 for 7,” I mean he went 1 for 15. Boom goes the dynamite!

The following year Matt and I were roommates. And we’ve been good friends since, traveling together to ACC tournaments, confectioner conventions, and fat camp.

Every wedding has the surly guy, and Matt is ours. Once, in Perth, he kicked Jesper Parnevik in the teeth and stole his cap, because Parnevik had mocked Matt’s second cousin, Padraig. That temper has earned Matt the scorn of people ranging from the lead singer of British alternative-band-wannabe Bush to the front-end manager of an Arby’s.

Doubt me? Just ask Alex or Scott, also expected to be in attendance at our wedding, about the time he trashed their dorm room, armed only with a pen, sticky paper, and Sleepy.

But Matt’s generous too. He’s the type of guy who would—and did—buy Carl Perkins a new pair of glasses. And he’s always willing to make room on the couch for a pretty lady or offer you a mini muffin.

The oscillation of his demeanor makes me both love and hate Matt, feelings I’m open about. Open to the point of calling him at 2 a.m. and sharing my sentiments with him. Repeatedly. Right now I’m at a love-him stage, but that mindset might change by the wedding.

Matt is likely moving from Winston-Salem, NC, where he is on track to be mayor by 2003, to be with his girlfriend, whose name escapes me, in St. Louis where she is studying the secret language of birds.

Anyway, if you’re talking to Matt and the conversation hits a lull, ask him which parts of this profile are true and which are utter nonsense. Or ask whatshername about the time she was in a Bananarama cover band.

*scheduled to attend